The Titanic Effect
Captain John Smith was proud of his nautical career. He had for years stood at the helm of countless frigates, freighters and ferries. For all his experience, came the command of the HMS Titanic and on her maiden voyage. He was proud man, proud of his remarkable career and proud of never having been caught in the grip of the demon, liquor. He certainly had his share if vices. He had a peculiar fondness for showing the bridge to the elite of his time. There was also his unrelenting urge to play shut the box. The world would soon find out the horror of his afflictions.
The North Atlantic is a cold place in the middle of April. The seas churn violently. On that fateful night the captain commandeered his regal ship from the bridge with a host of debutants including the unsinkable Molly Brown. They had joined Captain Smith to play an uncharted version of the game. The evening started out innocently enough as the captain deftly guided his ship over the frigid seas as he coolly rolled the dice. He rolled a seven, exactly what he needed to shut the box and win the $500 pot. Molly smiled at the Captain, her six teeth glistened in the moonlight. Captain Smith was particularly fond Molly, maybe it was due to the extensive use of her company’s dental program.
The captain moved closer to Molly feeling a bit feisty and Molly planted a big smooch on Captain Smith’s plump cheek. Suddenly, the ship lurched violently. “ I don’t know about you Molly, but I felt the earth move?” said the captain.
The first mate entered the bridge and stated nervously “Captain sir, we’ve just struck and iceberg. We’re taking on water fast. What are your orders, sir?”
The stunned captain sat in disbelief, his eyes wide. The shock of the moment would soon eat away at his sense of reason. At no time in his “naughty”-cal career had he ever been in such a situation and it ate him to the core. What would his wife and children remember about him. How would the history books tell this story. Why had that tempestuous Molly Brown planted that kiss on his cheek. Wow, was she hot!!!
“I’m sorry first mate, did you say something?” The captain was awestruck by the sassy Molly Brown. He was for all intents and purposes, sunk.
That night, the smitten captain went down with his ship as the cold Atlantic waters swallowed him up. As the ship dropped below the water’s surface, it belched forth shut the box. The game bobbed up and down like a plump apple in a bucket of water. The letters SOS faintly engrained in the folds of the wood was one of many distress messages that went out that night. It survived the cold waters of the North Atlantic since wood floats. That may be why they call it driftwood. It washed up on a beach in Nova Scotia and survives to this very day at a local barbershop. Don’t ask me how I know all this because life is full twisted tales. And if you know the facts about this story, your either pushing the century mark or a historical academic and you’ve realized by now, I’ve already told you more than I know.